Unmoved by squeals of joy
Cold.
Numb.
Barren.
Hot chocolate cannot thaw
icy fingers wrapped around my heart.
Laughter fills the air but
I do not smile.
Cannot,
will not
acknowledge their happiness.
I am a shell, an empty vessel
devoid of emotion,
a protective barrier encompassing
my feelings.
If they break through, I will feel
everything I do not want to.
Rage.
Despair.
Yearning.
Small feet with loud voices, climbing,
imagining a day long past
warnings shouted of planes in the sky
heads ducking as bullets trace the air.
I cannot stay,
I cannot watch.
I move away, lost in thought and
a small hand tugs my coat,
‘You left something behind’,
Watching him go back to his make-believe world
I know he is right,
but I do not return,
it can remain
unclaimed.
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